How in the world is it possible to live in Paradise, a tropical city filled with warm breezes that you don't ever foresee yourself wanting to leave (that, mind you, you had a straight up hissy FIT about moving to in the first place that your husband reminds you of often) yet still yearn to live in another locale? MULTIPLE places, in fact.
Unless you're romantically straddling the border like the scene in that Nicholas Sparks movie where Mandy Moore is dying or something, you can't be in two cities in once, but somehow my heart always is. It has never left Europe ever since I studied abroad in France 10 years ago, has trickled over to Thailand where I feel strangely comfortable, has found a home in Hawai'i, and still considers Charlotte, North Carolina "where I'm from", although I'm not. You know that saying you "leave a piece of your heart everywhere you go?", well it's painfully real for me. I have to remind myself to appreciate the places I have seen, the constant tug at my heart to adventure more and the future of what I am yet to see, all while fighting against the folly of discontent.
A scripture I stumbled upon while cozy on a train that was quickly gliding us through the snow covered alps of Switzerland in December, I couldn't relate any more and was clueless that this desire was even a folly. I've always known I have always wanted to see more, experience the perfect day and push to see touch and eat everything around me in a city, even to the point of carelessly exhausting others. Here I was in Europe, a place filled to the brim with inspiring colors, endless cuisine and eye catching fashion and I still WANTED MORE. MORE MORE MORE. What on earth.
While I realize this seed planted deep within me pushing me to go out into the world is one that is good and from God, I also needed to recognize the potential danger in being discontent in the moments where my mission is here at home. While I am sure my true home is scattered in cities and apartments and villages all across the world, I have to find content in the days spent rolling up my sleeves and working hard in lieu of exploration and dream of the next moment abroad, not simply wait on it.
All this talking, I think I may wind up a legit missionary. Uh oh. I said it. Also, I am excited about blogging again, if you couldn't already tell. Welcome to my online diary! You'll hear it here first as my thoughts unfold, in legit real time. #sorrynotsorry