Canon Security Blanket.

It's amazing how just having a camera in your bag can boost your confidence.  Knowing that alone, you may feel incredibly awkward wandering around, but with your camera, you're there with a purpose.  The bit of plastic in metal in your hands gives you the courage to wander solo through crowds without the slightest sense of worry or self-doubt.  You don't need anyone to join you for the day when you have your camera; your intentions are clear.  It's almost a false sense of security, really.  A bit of "protection" from the outside world.  No need to strike up conversations, no purpose in acknowledging those around you.  You have your camera, and you're in your own world.  You don't care what you look like, or who sees you.  It's that little bit of comfort that makes you feel like you blend in.  That you can do anything, go anywhere, own any place, as long as you've got your camera.  But it's just a security blanket.  You may feel safe and invisible, but people can still see you, you know.  In fact, they are hyper aware that you are even holding that camera.  Don't let it deter you.  In fact, let it push you.  Encourage you to stop and communicate.  Talk to the people your camera has brought you around.  Push yourself to discuss, explore, and stop hiding behind the lens.  Chances are, if you do, you'll meet some pretty awesome people.  Like my fabuloso new friend Marissa who is a photographer who just moved from San Diego.   My Mexican Soul Sister is a different blog post.  ;) Although I'm in paradise and loving our move here, there's only so much time with a man a woman take before she starts talking to herself about shoes and Real Housewives or worse, STOPS TALKING ALL TOGETHER.  Knowing I would need some girl support on this island, I encouraged myself to step out and talk to several girls I encountered that A: were super fun and pretty (and I would love to photograph for my island portfolio) and B: had BFF potential.  Leading off with photography and trying to not seem like a creeper, I battled every ounce of middle school fear I had in me and began conversations.  I let my guard down, got out from under my security blanket, and decided to make some friends.  Because it's going to be lonely here without some sequin loving girls.

This Friday I tuned some island jams on Spotify and rolled up to the North Shore, camera in tow, of course, all by my lonesome to shoot some film.  Later, I met up with Marissa for what we intended was sunset but turned into dinner and drinks.  :)

One day I'll be able to walk across a crowded beach like I own it (as I did that day) without my camera in my hand.  Baby steps.

 

Shot on my Canon EOS-1vn with a 50mm 1.4 lens and Fujifilm 400H film (exposed to 100 iso).  Just straight up scans, not an edit in the world, hallelujah!