Holding my breath.
A few weeks ago, I noticed it. It was subtle, but it’s meaning was huge. I wasn’t breathing.
Majority of people go through their every day lives without making the conscious decision to breath. I for one, was having to tell myself to take a deep breath. Not metaphorically, but physically. For weeks I have literally been holding my breath. Not allowing my breathing to follow it’s natural slow and rhythmic flow.
As a yogi, I know this isn’t good. To tackle potential stressors and anxiety one must open up and inhale. Breathe out all the bad and make room for the good. Otherwise, you will hold negative air (and emotions) in and build anxiety. I feared exactly what I was doing.
So I decided that no matter what it took, I needed yoga again. Because for me, it works. Relaxes me. Keeps me sane. And while I’m getting that yoga booty, I don’t really even know I am working out because, for me, it is more of a cleansing of the mind than a workout. Remembering every day to “get out of my head and into my body”. Sure, my right leg may be burning and blowing smoke while I’m holding warrior one, but that’s okay. I acknowledge it, feel it, then let it go. (Something I always have trouble doing on my own, but yoga keeps me on track with)
Someone (I can’t remember who!) recommended an online yoga class to me and one month after my free trial membership had expired and I was already being paying for the service, I decided to give it a shot. Having been fearful I would never be able to find a studio as good as Yoga One in Charlotte and my favorite instructor Daniel, I wanted to still make valiant effort. Skeptically, I rolled out my yogitoes towel in my living room floor and began my practice. The instructor was a quiet man with a calming aura, and while seated with my eyes closed hands to chest, my soul drank in every word he said:
“The image that inspires this class is the sugar canes...and the field of sugar cane that exist in the tropics and the big storms come through and their strength is in their ability to bend. To get blown down and come back. So that kind of resiliency. The title of this class is bend, don’t break.
...get that lift of your spirit. That spirit that can bounce back. That strength that’s in it’s resiliency. So yoga invites us to listen, to in-tune, to become more sensitive. And also, to get tougher. To be able to bend and not break. To be able to respond skillfully and react habitually or automatically less...The more we come to know ourselves and to the tune and become sensitive to the spirit and the physicality of our beings, then in that ideal sense, the more resilient, skillful, stronger, and capable we are at handling whatever the asena is, whatever that posture of confidence, that situation in life that presents itself to us.”
How are the instructors always talking to me? It’s like they’re in my head. And, after one class in my living room, I’m once again a convert.
Bend, don’t break.
If you're curious about the class, check it out on Yoga Glo! & if you're the person who recommended the website to me, THANK YOU! Big ups. Photo taken at Waimanalo Beach on my 7D.