All the same.
Yesterday it dawned on me. I had been worried that I was in a state of denial, there had to be pending things to be anxious over that I was simply ignoring. I must be living in a dream state. What is going on?!! But no. I'm just in a place that oddly seems foreign to me, a sense of content that seemed fleeting. As my Mom noticed over the phone, I sound genuinely happy. And what's crazier is that there have been no drastic change in life circumstances, no week full of back-to-back client bookings, no grandeous news delivered, no winning lottery ticket, and certainly no sudden weight loss. Yet here I am, elated and grateful and thrilled to wake up early enough to see the sun rise, content to perch in my yoga pants and mark spam emails, and okay that the house is currently a flippin' mess. The difference didn't come with something that happened, it has arrived in peace, and love, and a changed heart, and most importantly faith. I am sincerely happy. Nothing has changed, but at the same time everything has, and I am grateful to God for that one. Big ups, man in the sky!
I am making an effort to avoid the safe, "heavenly Father please watch over us while we (ahhhemmm, Marshall) while we zig-zag through this five o'clock traffic" prayers and focus more on grand, BLOW YOUR MIND-use me for your will-leap out of my comfort zone prayers, so I wanted to take a moment to recognize all the little things that may go overlooked day by day that I appreciate.
Hawai'i: Duh, sounds obvious, but I originally didn't want to come back here. Pitched a fit, actually, IIIIIIII wanted to head to Europe, instead (poor little me! Hmph!) Here's hoping that still happens, one day, but in the meantime I am grateful for O'ahu and have a hard time seeing us ever leaving. Salt hair don't care, don't you know how that goes?!?!
Le Pups: It was hard being away from them for nearly a year, now nothing can compare to snuggling up and twirling their little ears around my fingers and hearing the jingling of their collars ringing through the living room. Even when I catch Leo shredding my favorite underwear, I still find some love for him. Deep, deep down in there.
Our Home: What a surprise, I pitched a fit about this, too. I hope Marshall doesn't see this post because he will invitable give me a good "I talk you in to a lot of things you wind up liking...". Sure, I wanted to live somewhere more Hawai'i, but that meant shelling out a ton of cash to live in someone's basement on the North Shore (and while that's cool and all!) I am happy to have a (somewhat) gecko free home that's close to everything and has some kickin' central air conditioning. Hollerback. I'm always more than happy to visit my aloha dwelling friends, however.
Yoga Online: It's genius, I swear. Nothing calms my body and soothes my tired soul more than some delicious yoga poses. OMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I use yogaglo.com. It completes me.
The Bible App: Truth be told, I had never really read the Bible the whole way through. Not only did I previously have little interest in it, but I mean, who wants to read the Bible start. to. finish? Well now, ME! (Seriously, who is this girl?), and you should too, even if you think you don't believe (because how can you be so sure you don't believe what is said to be the word of God if you haven't read it?) Thankfully with the Bible App I can LISTEN from beginning to end, highlighting and bookmarking when I come across interesting scripture. It's genius! Plus, I find I remember it better when I hear it as opposed to my mind potentially wandering.
My Contax: This seems superficial for sure, the most important things in life are not things, but I have to genuinely say that THIS is where my head has always been when it came to my photography. I am kicking myself for being fearful and not taking the leap sooner. You need the gear that will help you accomplish what you see in your head, and for me, it's always been the Contax. So thrilled to push my work to new levels.
Mornings with Marshall: Marshall wakes up superrrr early to get to work in time for physical training. My heart always sank a little when ever I rolled over and noticed his side of the bed was empty. I have recently asked him to start waking me up when he does (5AM people!) so I can spend some time with him before I work out and we get our day started. Opening your eyes to a barrage of kisses every morning makes the early call time a-ok with me!
What are the little things you're most grateful for? Have you told them?