A few months back I started to realize my life was being plagued by “what ifs”. What if it doesn’t work, what if I don’t make friends, what if I’m late, what if there’s traffic. WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF. Somewhere in between several moves, planning a wedding, and relocating a business, I was starting to feel a sense of loosing control. Which made me realize clearly I like to be IN control hence, I tried to plan everything. Always be prepared. Expect the worst so that I would never be disappointed. And I was seriously starting to annoy myself. But that isn’t me. I am more of a be positive and fly off the seat of your pants kinda girl.
My fear of loosing control (which, let’s be honest, none of us really have any in the first place! We know who really does!) started to creep in, especially with every day circumstances. Like the day Marshall jumped off of Maunawili Falls. I covered my eyes and begged him to not do it again “please honey! OOOOOOOOOH Just BE CAREFUL!”. Petrified something would happen to my love, all the “what ifs” raced through my head. What if he falls, what if I need to call air rescue, what if I don’t have service here IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE! I’m sure I don’t!. As he narrowly edged his way across the damped rock facade, I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed.
"BABY! Just shush! RELAX!”
Was I praying out loud?
When I was brave enough to peek through one creased eyelid Marshall was (somewhat) safely perched on the ledge towering 35 feet above the breathtaking cold water. And without an ounce of hesitation, he jumped.
Then I jumped. (off the smaller ledge, of course!)
It was treading fresh rain water in the deeps of Maunawili falls I realized I had temporarily let myself become consumed with loosing something I never really had, and all I really needed to do was let go and take the plunge. To stop worrying, stop trying to plan everything, and focus on controlling the things I can control. Like getting rid of that muffin top! Otherwise, I may miss an incredible experience.
HOLY BIG BUTT!
I'm fine showing it to you because you are saying GOODBYE to that fatty girl! I am on a MISSION and currently working on getting strong! This wiggly photo of me was a wake up call! Girlfriend has been hitting the gym!
Shots from an underwater disposable camera that wasn't so great this time. But it sure captured some grainy memories, that's all that matters to me!
On the edge!
If you climb up the falls there is a smaller pool and waterfall that is heavenly. It's like something out of a movie and may as well be one of my favorite places in O'ahu.
They decided they wanted to jump from these falls too but needed me to check to make sure it was deep enough. "But what if there's a left over dinosaur animal down there that will GRAB MY LEG!!". There go the what ifs again. That one was legit.
And Hanauma Bay where my disposable decided it wanted to be great!!